You have options ft Tall Red Track Pants
I’ve always made the gold-digger type joke that I’ll marry a rich man and be sorted. But I watched a VERY bad nollywood movie with my sister that actually dragged me out of that banter by my braids, real quick.
In the film - Mum, Dad, Meet Sam, about a Nigerian guy who brings home an English girl, the main character finds out he's got a job in London and so breaks up with his girlfriend in Nigeria because he has to move on. He has stuff to do. The girl is kind of bummed but understands he has to go live his life. The movie never tells us what the girlfriend does by the way.
It's not a serious movie in the slightest but it made me think. That kind of rhetoric is painted to females over and over again, in movies, music videos, reality TV etc. The guy goes off to live an exciting life and leaves the girl to go find something and someone new. Or the guy in the music video that is surrounded by several hot girls who are all just happy to be sharing/vying for his attention. Reality TV shows where the girl wants to continue this relationship and the guy was all in for the chase but now he's just not sure.
All of this contribute to the rhetoric that guys have options and girls just don’t. Guys have options in terms of where they're going, what they're doing and who they're doing it with. But us females look forward to being with him and then trying to ‘hold onto him’. This phrase makes me shudder. You should never have to 'keep' a man.
It gives off the idea that guys are constantly moving with their lives and girls are kind of stagnant. Like we’re stuck. We’re hoping when a decent one crosses our paths we can try and impress them enough and then hold on tightly to his coat tails while they move on, hopefully fending off other girls along the way. Well girls, I think its time we got our own damn coats!
This toxic idea is why I used to be so eager to please and impress guys. I often felt like I had to win them over, prove to them I was worthy. And thats why it crushed me if they weren’t into me, or didn’t stay focused on me. It was like I'd failed. I had lost.
As my sister would say, this is such kak. You have options ladies, your prospectives for the future are just as exciting as whoever you’re with or into. Don’t make him your exciting future. Do a hard double blink and open your eyes wide. Look at all that’s around you, all the possibility and potential. Even in terms of being with other guys, you have options. It might not always look like it but you are a free agent to meet and connect with whoever you want just like men are and this world is HUGE. The sooner we realise this, the sooner we’ll stop competing with each other for just ordinary males. We’ll stop trying to outdo each other in a game of pick me, pick me.
Even for the girls reading this who think well who cares, I played and I won him. When you really know your beauty and worth, you won't need to play any stupid game, let alone compete to win.
Trousers are from Topshop Tall in the sale, they are extremely comfy cosy. Very fitted too so they give you a nice silhouette, which is obviously in high demand right now. I like these though because they don't look too tight. For me there's a fine line between nice and trying too hard. If like me you're not massively into the whole sports luxe look you can pair these kind of trousers with a shirt like I did to balance it out a bit. Plain white and black go with anything if you want to keep it simple.