The no. 1 reason why YOUR hair is beautiful
I recently took out my braids and finally exposed the fro (I did a twist out if you care). This strangely took a lot of courage, I tend to hide the parts of me I think people won’t accept or find beautiful.
I’ve received SO MANY compliments which have been so encouraging and made this whole process of accepting myself more naturally, way easier.
So, I could sit here in my smug little seat and write: ‘just love yourselves as you are ladies, including your hair’. But to be honest, that’s stupid advice.
I hate when people say ‘look, you’ve just got to blah blah blah’. Just do it.
Just do it? This is no Nike advert friend, if I could ‘just do it’, I’d have done it, duh.
Just accepting yourself is hard, at least for some people like me. Especially when you don’t receive that external validation. Let’s be real, its always easier to love a part of ourselves after someone else has said they like it. I think that's why the whole natural afro hair movement has been so slow-growing. Society and beauty standards haven’t really been there validating our thick, standy-uppy fros, boosting our confidences as we throw our weaves to the wall. We’ve been left to our own devices.
So I get it. The whole ‘loving the real me thing’? Its long.
But the no. 1 reason your hair, knees, armpits, whatever is beautiful is because it’s part of you.
Wait, bare with.
You’re a mishmash of a human. Different bits all put together in various shapes and sizes and tones to make up an individual you (and your doppelgängers. I believe they exist y’all, found one of mine. Very creepy).
So whether you or society likes that mishmash, you’re kind of a unique art piece. Not all art is conventionally beautiful, but its still creative and still matters.
Its like with snowflakes. We’re so fascinated by them because they say no two are the same. Their uniqueness makes them exciting. I’ve never met anyone trying to compare two snowflakes. You’re just excited they’re there.
So I’m trying to be excited each bit of me is here, including the hair. Whether its long or short, up or down, perfect curls or lol be serious texture. It’s part of me (and possibly my doppelgängers). And slowly, I’m feeling more comfortably myself, more than I ever did with braids actually.
I notice everyone’s hair lots more now, probably because I’m aware of my own, but I find it harder to compare or be jealous. It just feels dumb. Other people’s hair is theirs and mine is mine. I can’t judge them by my standards and they can’t judge me by theirs.
So I guess I’ll just enjoy my hair. It definitely isn’t the longest, probably not the thickest and my ‘curls don’t pop’ but that’s irrelevant because I’m not holding myself to those standards anymore.
But wait. Before you imagine me skipping off into the sunset of I-don’t-give-a-damn, I still have my moments.
Bad hair days?
Sometimes I feel like I just look silly, like Bobo the clown. But ya know, that’s life, we can’t kill it everyday. Everyone needs days off, even the very stylish.
It’s okay for the odd insecurity to pop up. Believing you’re just generally below standard in an area is less okay though, I think. It’s a huge weight to carry. I know, I felt like less of a woman for years because I don’t have big boobs. I literally felt like a fraud. Wild, I know.
To not drive myself crazy and because I don’t have the disposable income to handle that - boob jobs be expensive - I’ve had to ditch the made up rule that my boobs have to be a certain size. They don’t. I’m exactly who I should be. Maybe you’re exactly who you should be already too.
Boots, Trousers - ASOS
Jumper, Furry Bomber - H&M
Hoops - Tesco